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In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong. When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating before then.Related: Why do so many married women want to join my single moms’ groups?As can only happen in class-weird America, people in this great nation can be heard vying for the right to claim rights to refer to themselves as a “single mother.” It is an interesting and relevant debate — one that speaks to how unmarried moms move forward with our lives as individuals, but also how we collectively define with our place in the world.It's too late for me, but maybe you can learn from what I wish I knew when I was single.Related: The Best Part Of Being Single Is Knowing Nobody's Cheating On You 1.In other words, if you’re still in the “dating just to date” phase of your life, involving a woman with a child is probably not the type of relationship you should engage in because your actions will more than likely impact the lives of two people — the woman and the child.

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We are all free to make up whatever dating preferences we want.

Or even, as Michelle Obama accidentally did, you call yourself a single mom because your husband is really, really busy with his fabulous career, you are out. On forums and in casual conversation, I hear people (usually men – men who pay lots of child support) grumble about women (usually their exes) who define themselves as single moms. But “single mom” is a heavily loaded term with lots of social and political connotations.

And FYI, when you refer to yourself as a single mom you piss off a whole lot of people–people who have little or no financial help to raise their kids, or partnership that provides the emotional and logistical support that all families need. “They have no right to say that — I pay for her manicures and weekends in Cancun with her 26-year-old personal trainer boyfriend! Which leads us to examine what “single mother” really means. Depending on how you vote, a single mom is responsible for bearing fatherless criminals and living off of the taxpayer’s dime; or she is a saintly martyr for her children and a victim of a chauvinistic society that tells men it is OK to abandon their children by a male-dominated court system that let him way, way off the hook.

I’ve been in a terrible relationship before and honestly now, I’d rather be alone than with the wrong guy.

I believe I have a lot to offer – I am caring, kind, warm, loyal and intelligent. I am not looking for a father for the boys; they have one.




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