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If they voice an opinion and their partner disagrees, they'll clam up immediately."Their distaste for conflict is so great that they resist or avoid speaking about what's important to them in order to maintain harmony in a relationship," says Dr. So, it's not really "harmony" so much as it is a false sense of a safe relationship.Experts say it's a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.One key sign is when your sense of purpose in life wraps around making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs.They shun attention and try to do the right thing and be good sons, husbands, and fathers, focusing instead on making a living and meeting the needs of their wives and children.These codependent men sacrifice themselves and believe that their needs, including the need for time away from their wives, are selfish."Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn't have self-sufficiency or autonomy," says Scott Wetzler, Ph D, psychology division chief at Albert Einstein College of Medicine."One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfillment." Anyone can become codependent.

If that kind of one-sided pattern sounds like yours, you don't have to feel trapped.Societal and cultural values have shamed men as weak for expressing feelings or needs, which reinforces codependent traits of control, suppression of feelings, and denial of needs. The societal norm for male suppression of feelings is compounded and distorted if you grew up in a dysfunctional family where it wasn’t safe to express feelings and needs.It’s easier not to acknowledge feelings that are criticized or needs that are denied or shamed.Peter Pearson, founder of The Couples Institute, to see what codependency even is, and how to deal with it. Typically, a codependent partner avoids conflict entirely.If they find themselves in an argument, they'll surrender.

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