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If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues? She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.If dresses aren’t your style, you can still come across as more feminine than forceful.Opt for breezy fabrics and accessorize with necklaces and earrings that don’t have their own zip code for a non-intimidating appearance. Think of ways you can express that side of your personality.

After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys.

Masculine energy can be a turn-off to guys, says dating coach Michelle Jacoby on the dating site e

Even if you’re a take-charge kind of gal, make an effort to slow down a bit and allow men to hold the door open for you, pull out your chair in a restaurant or help you with your coat.

The word “intimidate” comes from a 17th-century word that meant “to make timid,” according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

When it comes to meeting men, that’s the last thing you want to do.

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