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And eventually, you'll fall in love again — with someone who's willing to make you first in his life! I see only one problem relationship here, and that’s the one you’re in right now. You were young and in school, long-distance, or experimenting. when you meet a man who is married, don’t ever begin to size him up as somebody you could date. You’ve extracted yourself from undesirable situations before. We see each other many hours a day, we love each others’ company, but I am worried about the wife. But it seems to us that he certainly must be lying to someone — at least to his wife. Vicki, I've been in a relationship with a married man for five years.I can't believe I've accepted this for so long, but I'm confused and I don't know what to believe. Sometimes he could be so attentive, but other times he was unavailable for days or weeks. Vicki, I feel like I want to get even with him because I'm so hurt.Take some time to get really clear with yourself about who you are and what you want.

He has not had sex with her for over a year, and she does not want to go back to her country. We doubt he is keeping her as up to date about you, as he “appears” to be keeping you informed about her. If you pursue this romance you are implicitly endorsing a model for behavior in life and love.

Even if he is separated from his wife, that is their business, and you are a threat to their marriage. You may feel that he’s your soul mate but think again. You already know that he's a liar, because he's living a lie with his wife and children. It is no different than being a thief in the night.

A real soul mate would not set you on the sidelines. How can you be sure whether you're the only "other woman" he has? She's been married to him for however many years, cleaned up after him when he's sick, raised children with him, sacrificed with him, dealt with the "damn dailies," then you come in at the 11th hour and provide a contrast to that that's new, and exciting and fun. It is no different than breaking into their house and stealing their things.

And I don’t see a pattern here — because really, all relationships have a low chance of long-term success. This is the first time that your breaking the “pattern” and just flat out doing something wrong.

You went into your second relationship hoping for marriage.

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