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“You want to take me to a restaurant with a tablecloth that brings free bread before you order? ”But say you meet someone, and you actually like her. Embrace the courtship period as a chance to reveal something about your character! Only if it’s senior prom and I’m wearing a flammable chiffon ball-gown.

Put some time and effort into your appearance and go out and right now, so I’m assuming you’re wearing Rick Owens drop-crotch pants and some cool, humongous watch that counts calories, tracks steps, and predicts how you die. Bringing flowers to a first date reeks of desperation. Whether you are walking or driving to a date, the question remains: Should you take your date home?

An online date has to be casual, nonchalant, and most importantly, chill—you can’t commit to a four-hour dinner and a movie hang with someone when all you know about them is that they went to Machu Picchu once and “don’t want drama.”The go-to modern date now is a quick beer at a low-key bar.

That way, if your Tinder match is a home-schooled-mouth-breather, you can make an excuse and bounce. And because we’re all so used to the low-stakes hang, the idea of a proper date suddenly seems like a big ask.

If someone's eating opposite Amazing Me, shouldn't she or he pay for the privilege?

After all, I'm entertaining and cute and if you let me order dessert there may be some smooching in your future.

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They say married couples fight over money more than anything else, but what about when you just started dating? (The bloviating shrink says men should always be the ones to pony up.) And if you don't pay for the whole thing, you should at least offer to split the tab.

Regardless of your feelings on the matter, whatever you do, don't leave the house without enough money to pay for at least your share.

It's a first date so while he may seem great (and generous) on paper, you never really know what you're getting into until he's sitting across from you.

Sure, he might be staring adoringly deep into your eyes, but then again, his pants might be held up with duct tape.

Do you really want to count on that dude to know the meaning of "gratuity?

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