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But the frequency of sex declines as any relationship ages, although married couples have more sex than those who are single. Not surprisingly, there is an extremely large variation in the time it takes a couple to have sex, ranging from the excessively short (about two minutes or less, which famed sex researcher Alfred Kinsey dryly noted was a “frequent source of marital conflict”) to the “Are you done yet? An astonishing 45 percent of men finish the sex act too quickly, which is to say, within Kinsey’s conflicted two minutes. Way too speedy for the average woman to be able to have an orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

Obviously, regular access to sex makes it more likely to happen! Some couples are happy with more frequent sex, some happy with less frequent sex. At least five minutes, and more like seven, is usually what’s needed for a woman to be able to achieve orgasm.

If you only feel like having sex once or twice a week but find those encounters deeply satisfying, that’s normal for you and that’s totally fine. And that’s really the point: not how much sex you’re having, but whether you and your partner are happy with the sex you are having. And even though the average length of the average inter-vaginal sex session is about 7.3 minutes, that’s still not particularly long, especially for women who usually take much longer than men to become aroused enough to have an orgasm.

So if your man is done within two minutes of things getting hot and heavy—or still not done 40 minutes later—you may want to gently broach the idea of getting a medical checkup to make sure everything’s functioning correctly.

Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently.

As men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often.

That was also the figure in the American Sexual Behavior Study, a 2006 survey reporting that the average frequency of sex for married couples went from about once every two-three days for couples between the ages of eighteen and twenty-nine, to about twice a week for couples between 30 and 50, and less than once a week for older couples.

Couples of any age in the early phase of a love relationship tend to have a lot of sex—daily if not more frequently. There have been studies in which couples consented to be scientifically observed having sex, and one of the observers timed each session with a stopwatch to make a fairly accurate assessment about the length of the coupling.

Despite such frequent problems, few older men (38%) and even fewer women (22%) had discussed sex with a physician since age 50, the researchers found.Things like busyness, boredom, childhood trauma, stress reactions, aging and a host of other issues can lead to sexual problems.And couples are not good at talking about this subject with each other.Men were more likely to do so, perhaps because effective drugs are available.Nearly 1 in 7 men (14%) reported taking medication to improve sexual function.

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