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And nine times out of ten, what they’re asking for is permission to break up with their significant other…because they can’t manage to convince themselves that they need to.I realized this soon after it ended—that I’d spent three years expecting someone else to love me when I didn’t love myself.The guilt and shame kept me single for almost a decade. I’d start getting close to someone and then find a way to sabotage it. But mostly I was afraid of hurting someone else again and having to live with that.As a last resort, he partners with a greedy co-worker to rob a casino.

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This might seem productive—like you can somehow change things by rehashing it. Focus on the good things in your current situation: the friends who are there for you and the lessons you’ve learned that will help you with future relationships.but I can't seem to escape this feeling that there's something more than this, and I'm seeing time slip-sliding away. What I hear you saying is that while you love your husband, have a generally positive relationship, and are companionable, you feel as if there is something missing from your relationship, something you do not want to do without for the rest of your life. What might it be like to open a dialogue that celebrates the time that you’ve had together and opens up a discussion about what you each want for your remaining years?If you haven’t let your husband know that you aren’t satisfied with the status quo, you have not given him, nor you, an opportunity to see if your relationship can change.Twenty-two years into our marriage, I just don't feel any spark for him anymore.He's a good man and a good father, but I'm not attracted to him at all.

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