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In my travels, I have come across many species of women.

There are many things I have learned and many more things I wish I never had to learn.

but that understanding is limited to just that one woman, not ALL women!

[And certainly this is not the case with you - because you are a MIDLIFE BACHELOR.

I don't understand them myself - and I do not try to.

In fact, it is pointless to try to understand women - because just when you think you do understand them, something will cause you to recognize that you MISUNDERSTAND them.

Questions like, “Do you see yourself getting married? However, if a girl starts spewing any of the following questions after only a few months—get the fuck out: “What do you think our wedding song should be? Because I have a few picked out on Pinterest already.” “What color scheme do you think would work best for our fall wedding? If any girl is planning your wedding before you’ve even said “I love you,” it’s safe to assume there’s a screw loose.

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In an cruel twist, if Normal Women complain about Crazy Women, they in turn are labeled Crazy Women.

Marriage Discussing marriage with someone you’re dating is a pretty standard practice.

Even if you haven’t been together that long, it’s totally acceptable to broach the subject while treading lightly. It’s sort of like asking someone about their political affiliation or who their favorite Kardashian is—you know, the important shit that allows you to gage a person’s character.

All things considered, I’m a fairly level headed gal, which it makes it that much easier to spot the ones who aren’t.

Let’s take a stroll down Crazy Lane and discuss some tell-tale signs that you’re dating a bona fide Lorena Bobbitt.

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